Because It's Too Hard
by CherryApricot
Summary: He'd been so sure of himself, so confident, and now he was sitting at a cafe wallowing in his misery because he couldn't stand to hear the man he'd come to love more than air, fucking someone else... NaruSasu, NejiGaa, KibaIta, AU, Rape, Yaoi


**Disclaimer**: I own nothing... (sigh)

**A/N**: My first yaoi story in over four years, bear with me sine it's been a while since I've written in third-person pov, hope you enjoy guys! Read and review please!

**Summary**: He'd been so sure of himself, so confident, and now he was sitting at  
a cafe wallowing in his misery because he couldn't stand to hear the man he'd  
come to love more than air, fucking someone else... NaruSasu, KibaIta, NejiGaa, AU, Rape

* * *

'_I'm so pathetic._'

The pale raven thought to himself while sipping his hot mint tea, he'd come to a cafe near his apartment complex after hearing something he'd rather not have.

Taking another drink from his tea he furrowed his eyebrows, the scalding beverage burning his throat but he didn't care. Bringing his hands to his face he rubbed at his eyes, realizing just how tired he was, mentally and physically.

He was at his limit, he couldn't do this anymore, though he'd expected as much, he chuckled humorlessly to himself as he thought back to six months ago. Six months. Had it really been so long since he'd agreed to keep his relationship with the beautiful bronzed Adonis 'casual'?

He'd been so sure of himself, so confident, and now he was sitting at a cafe wallowing in his misery because he couldn't stand to hear the man he'd come to love more than air, fucking someone else. It was at times like these he wished the damned apartments were soundproof, maybe if he moved to the 5th floor he wouldn't be able to hear them; though the ridiculous thing was that the walls weren't even that thin.

He'd met the blonde when he'd just moved into the apartment building, it was a pretty good complex and close to his university, that and far away from his possessive ex-boyfriend, and as fate would have it, as he was moving his things into the 2LDK, the blonde had walked out of the apartment next door in all his six-foot-five, beautifully muscled, bronzed body glory.

Even now he still remembered the desperate need to actually whimper at the sight of him, he'd been dressed no differently than any other twenty one-year old you'd pass on the street, but the snug navy blue t-shirt had hugged his abs so nicely, and his jeans had been so loose and low on his hips, that any woman or man would've been just as hot and bothered as he'd been.

Naruto had noticed him as soon as he'd stepped into the hallway, and had given him the most lustful and predatory smirk he'd ever been fortunate enough to receive, after giving him a very (**very**) slow once over, the attraction had obviously been mutual. And from there, the Uchiha had known he just had to get into his pants, he'd reasoned to himself 'If he's as good in bed as he is gorgeous then I have to have him.' and boy had he been right.

He'd found that Naruto liked teasing his partners before taking them in the most animalistic and unexpected way while whispering dirty and seductive words that induced shudders like he'd never felt before. Just thinking about it made his knees quiver and his breath hitch, but as soon as they'd finished their 4th round, Naruto had gotten out of bed and dressed himself.

After that he'd questioned Naruto about a relationship, but the usually sunny blonde had told him in a cold and detached voice that he didn't do relationships and that he'd prefer to keep things between him and the people he slept with 'casual'.

The raven scoffed to himself and pushed his tea away, he'd been so stupid to say 'Fine, then let's keep it casual.' and thus had started their 'casual' relationship, the first month had been perfectly fine, he hadn't overreacted when Naruto had brought countless men home (he'd deny it if someone accused him of spying through the peephole) nor had he said a single word when he'd stepped into the apartment elevator and seen Naruto pressing another man to the wall, of course that hadn't stopped him from almost breaking the elevator number when he'd punched floor 8 just a little too hard.

What **had **made the rest of the 5 months harder though, was getting to actually know the blonde, they'd gone out on numerous occasions to the movies and out to eat and had conversations... well it was mostly arguing but it hadn't been unpleasant. He'd found that his favorite color was orange, his favorite food was ramen but he also had a soft spot for red bean soup. He preferred comedies to thrillers/action movies, and his favorite manga was One Piece.

But it wasn't just his preferences; he knew that the blonde bit his lip when he was concentrating, that he ran his hands through his hair when he was frustrated or angry, and that he liked having his partners bite his neck during sex.

And he'd come to... to love the blonde... so very, very much... but it hurt, to see him with so many others and to be treated just like the rest of them, but what really sucked and made his chest tighten in pain was knowing that he didn't feel the same way.

So he'd done the only thing he could and had started to avoid the blonde, he left early in the morning to track practice and stayed out as long as he could, ignored the e-mails and text messages and forced himself to delete any voicemail from him.

It'd already been two weeks; soon enough the blonde would forget about him and shrug it off like it was nothing.

"Um, S-Sasuke-kun?" The raven looked up at the soft voice and raised an eyebrow at the pale, lavender eyed girl in a waitress uniform, she was shaking nervously and looking around, 'She is not suited for this kind of job' he thought to himself for what felt like the millionth time since he'd found out she worked here. He remembered Neji hadn't been too happy about either.

"Yes?" He asked in a tired voice, causing himself to frown inwardly, was he really so tired that he couldn't keep the stress and exhaustion out from his voice?

"We'll... be closing soon."

Frowning Sasuke glanced around the cafe, it was nearly empty, the very few people left were already leaving tips on the tables and getting ready to leave.

"Right." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet and grabbed a five to put on the table, he stood and shoved the wallet into his coat, nodding politely at Hinata, before he began to make his way out.

The glass door closed silently behind him and the cool night air hit him, causing shivers to run up and down his body before he began walking to the apartment, he figured Naruto was probably done by now and that he could go home.

As he walked down the street, he ignored the leering stares from both men and women. He rolled his eyes when he heard a cat call directed at him and continued walking, he was used to it, it had been worse when he was younger and had resembled a woman more. He'd been thin and almost curvy with a girly face since birth and had been mistaken for a girl when people saw him from behind.

It wasn't until he'd gotten to his last year of high school that he'd shot up from a mere 5'4 to a lithe 5'11, his voice had also finally matured and had started to sound more like a man's rather than a woman's, though compared to most males his voice was still softer, not to mention with him running in track, his body had become more toned. Although his face had only sharpened and filled out a bit, he didn't look so much like a woman rather he just had feminine features now.

All in all he was what most would call beautiful rather than handsome.

When he finally arrived to the complex he decided to take the stairs in case he ran into Naruto, that and the staircase door was closer to his apartment and he wouldn't have to pass Naruto's place. He clambered on up the stairs, all thoughts revolving around the blonde who had captured his heart, quietly he opened the stairwell door and froze upon seeing bright tussled white hair, his gut wrenched and his heart rate accelerated beyond its normal pace and his hands suddenly grew clammy in fright.

Swallowing past the sudden lump in his throat, he took a tentative step back from the tall, looming, platinum blonde who still hadn't noticed him. Pulling his hood over his inky black locks to cover his hair he turned around and stepped back into the staircase although all he really wanted to do was sprint out.

Running would do him no good, Suigetsu was a long-distance runner and endurance swimmer, Sasuke was a high-jumper and short-distance runner, he had much more stamina than himself.

"Sasuke." A hand followed the voice to grip his shoulder and a shudder of pure terror tore down his spine, "I finally found you." The voice whispered before he was yanked out of the stairwell and slammed up against the exit door.

He starred into dark violet eyes and felt tears gather in his own, "S-Suigetsu, let go." He stammered out in a small voice that he would have denied being his had he not been in this situation.

"Aren't you happy to see me, Sasuke-_koi_*****?" The blonde asked while smiling widely, which added to Sasuke's horror. He'd learned the hard way that Suigetsu was not someone you angered in the slightest; he was prone to violent outbursts when so.

The grin turned into a grim sneer when he saw the fear in the ravens eyes, "I guess not." He growled, inching his face closer to Sasuke's, "Tell me, do you still taste as good as you did the last time I kissed you?"

"Suigetsu stop-" A loud resounding smack echoed down the hall while Sasuke head flew to the side, his pale snowy cheek turning an angry red where he'd been hit.

"Now now _koi_, if you yell, people will come out and that just won't do." He growled out, his slightly pointy teeth showing.

"Suigetsu please don't-"

"Sssh, it's okay, I'll be gentle this time, I promise _koi_." He whispered to him before crushing his mouth to his, biting the pouty red lips, the skin broke underneath the pressure and blood dribbled down his chin from the cut.

Smirking the blonde licked the trail of blood up, forcing his way into the ravens sweet mouth, he groaned and sucked at the others tongue, slipping his knee between the shorter ravens thighs to grind against his groin.

Sasuke yelped and struggled to get away from the invasive touch, knowing better than to bite his captor. Hands slipped up his jacket and under his shirt to pinch his nipples causing him to whimper and his eyes to widen, no, he didn't want this, if he gave in it'd be just like it was before.

He pushed against the chest angrily and managed to push himself away from the taller male who stumbled back, he sprinted to his door and swiped the card key, the small light on the handle glowed bright green before he opened the door, he made it inside and slammed the door but before it could close, it was forced open, a pair of hands shooting out to grab him.

He cried out when the back of his hair was held in a tight grip before the side of his face hit the wall. Stars exploded his vision before he was thrown onto the ground, but before he could rise to his feet he was kicked in the gut causing him to fall back down, the leg continued to come down onto his back, causing him to shriek and call out for him to stop in a weak and pained voice.

He let out a choked grunt when his head was thrown into the wood floor and felt his vision begin to blur, the pain was unbearable and he was vaguely aware of the tears running down his cheeks. He shuddered in terror when he felt his pants being yanked down. He struggled and attempted to kick his abuser in the face but his legs were pinned down.

The tears ran down faster when he heard a zipper being pulled down hastily, "N-no, please Suigetsu, don't!" He sobbed, the white-haired male simply chuckled darkly forcing bruised, pale hips up.

"I was going to be gentle _koi_, but you just had to be difficult."

"Somebody help! _Please_!" He choked out, his voice breaking at his last attempt to be saved before he was raped.

'_Someone, anyone, please help me..._'

His legs were spread open and he felt the platinum blonde force himself into him, a blood-curdling scream escaped him as the feeling of being split apart took over his senses, it was the most excruciating pain he'd ever felt.

Suigetsu merely smirked as he thrust in violently, pumping his hips into the slick with blood entrance. Choked sobs and cries of pain escaped the raven as he was used; the pain was overwhelming; he would have gladly accepted death if it meant getting away.

His blurred vision began to darken and soon he was being incased in black, the last thing he saw before unconsciousness took him was his rapist being torn off of him by the blonde he'd come to love.

"He's stabilized now and he's healing along very nicely but I still think he should be kept at least another 4 days or so, the injuries on his backside turned out to have caused a bit more damage than we'd originally thought, and I'd like to see how his ribs are coming along, just to be safe."

"Thank you, doctor."

"Not at all, I'll be back sometime later to check on him." With that the dark haired brunette woman walked out of the room, leaving a long-haired raven alone with a similar looking boy in the bed.

Pulling out the chair he'd left near Sasuke's bed, he sat down beside him and let out a tired sigh, looking at his little brother with worry, something he'd never show in front of others.

"Mm."

"Sasuke?"

Dark obsidian eyes opened slowly, his eyelids fluttering a bit trying to adjust to the light of the hospital room, "Where...?" He whispered out, a hand was placed on his head and he turned in the direction of it.

"...'Tachi." He whispered, the older male nodded, running a hand through his beloved little brother's hair.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, trying to mask the worry in his voice but the younger knew his brother well, and heard it clearly.

"Numb."

"That's to be expected, they gave you a lot of pain meds so you wouldn't wake up screaming from the pain." Sasuke nodded, "Suigetsu is in jail and I'm going to make sure the bastard stays there, that blonde neighbor of yours already gave his statement to the police you just need to give them yours and I'll take care of the rest."

Sasuke flinched at the sound of Suigetsu's name, the nightmare replaying in his head, "How long have I-"

"Almost three days."

"Oh."

A hand gripped his tightly causing him to look at his brother, "Damn it Sasuke...you sacred the living hell out of me." Said boy merely sighed weakly, before closing his eyes.

"So tired."

"Not yet, I have to get the doctor, try to stay awake."

He merely nodded and watched him walk out of the room before he turned to look out the window, his eyes widened slightly when he saw the numerous flowers in the room, Daisies? Ino. Lilies...Neji and Hinata. Tiger Lilies...Gaara.

He looked at the small nightstand beside the bed and frowned, who would get him sunflowers? He reached for the small bright yellow card, his hand drooping a bit from all the pain killers in his body.

Grasping it between long artistic fingers, he brought it up to his face, in black messy letters read Naruto. A smile spread across his face and he placed the card back, he came to visit.

The door opened and Itachi came in with the doctor behind him, her tag read 'Shizune'. "Hello Sasuke, it's good to see you're awake."

"Hng." He replied in a tired voice. She merely smiled and walked up to his side.

"Well so far your healing along nicely... down there." Sasuke winced bit nodded, "Two of your ribs were fractured and your backside was severely bruised and one of your hip plates almost shifted out of place, so we've giving you a dose of morphine so you won't be in pain and as you can see you'll be very lethargic for a few hours, now are you feeling any discomfort anywhere?"

"No." He replied, trying to keep his eyes open, she smiled down at him and glanced up at Itachi who was watching him worriedly.

"Well then you should get plenty of rest for now, I'll be back in the morning to check up on you, have a nice evening." With that she left, leaving the two Uchiha's alone.

"You hungry?"

"Hm, tired."

"Get some rest then." The youngest nodded and closed his eyes, feeling a warm hand pet his head affectionately before he drifted into a dreamless sleep.

The next time he woke up it was to whispered talking, he grimaced and blinked his eyes open letting out a groan upon seeing his best friends Gaara and Neji making out, "Haven't I been through enough?" He wondered to himself aloud, causing his friends to chuckle.

Gaara walked up to his left side and gave him a very rare smile, "How are you feeling?"

"Sore." He replied. Neji came up next to Gaara, looking down at his friend, worry evident in his lavender eyed gaze.

"You had us worried, Itachi called us last night saying that you'd woken up." He stated, sitting down in the chair beside the bed where Itachi had sat when he'd woken up. Sighing he looked up at the ceiling.

"By the way, I've met that blonde neighbor you're always speaking of." Gaara said, sitting down in the chair at the foot of the bed, giving his friend a knowing look, "Are you involved with him?"

Sasuke's eyes widened by a fraction and he looked away from his friend, he wasn't entirely sure how to answer him, if he said yes he'd feel as if he were exaggerating the relationship but if he said no then he'd be lying, so in the end he went with, "Sort of."

Neji gave him an incredulous look, "And that would mean?"

"...we're just sleeping together on the occasion..." He flinched when he received glares from the couple and looked away from the accusing looks.

"Sleeping together on the occasion... have you lost your mind? I do not approve." The brunette stated in a baffled and furious voice.

"Thank you for your input _mother_." He responded in a sarcastic voice, rolling his eyes at Neji's face upon hearing his remark.

"Does he treat you well?" Gaara asked, eyes narrowed and voice firm.

Sasuke released a sigh but nodded none the less, he probably couldn't get away with speaking sarcastically to Gaara, bedridden or not.

"... you love him."

The raven's eyes shot open upon hearing the words, shocked that his friend had figured it out with just two questions. Biting his lip he sat up stiffly, wincing when he sat on his bottom.

"How long have you even known him!?" Neji asked, more like screamed in Sasuke's opinion but he didn't bother mentioning it.

"6 months."

"I-I'm speechless."

"Could've fooled me." The raven grumbled, ignoring the glare he got and turning to look at Gaara who looked as if he were analyzing him.

"Does he love you?"

He flinched at the words and glared down at his lap, refusing to give the pale red-head a reply, though the silence alone was answer enough.

He jumped slightly when the door was slammed open and a frantic Kiba ran in, "You're alive!" He cried out before launching himself into the ravens lap, yelping when said raven rammed his fist into his head.

"Kiba get off."

"Is that any way to speak to a dear friend, who traveled 4 hours just to see how you were doing?!"

"Kiba you live four blocks from the hospital." Neji stated, giving the shaggy haired brunette an irritated look.

"Yes, however I was in Hiroshima before I got the call!"

"Why didn't you just take the train, it takes less time than driving." The raven stated.

"Because the bastards wouldn't let Akamaru on the train, so I took my sisters car!"

Before Sasuke could respond to the idiot the door was opened and a nurse walked in.

"Hello, I'm sorry but visiting hours are over for non-family members." The petite woman stated, flinching upon receiving a glare from Neji.

"We're not through talking about this." Neji stated, placing a hand on Sasuke's shoulder comfortingly before pulling away and leaving with Gaara who nodded in his direction, "Sleep well."

"Huh? Talking about what?"

"Come on Kiba."

"Wha? But I just got here!"

"Come on."

The raven chuckled and waved to his friends, slightly thankful that they had to leave since Naruto wasn't really something he wanted to discuss with them, though he had mentioned him whenever they were together.

'_Does he love you? Pft, yeah right._' Shaking his head he laid himself back down and starred up at the ceiling, '_I'm not even sure Suigetsu ever even really loved me._'

He and Suigetsu had begun dating upon his arrival to H University, the silver-haired man had entranced him and been to charming and good-looking to resist, and as the schools motto said, Try new things Do new things. So they'd dated for about 7 months before deciding to move in together, much to the displeasure of his brother and friends.

But at the time he had thought Suigetsu to be a good man and had loved the sweet and charismatic way that he treated him.

Unfortunately his happy little fairy tale had come to an abrupt end after 2 weeks of living together. He'd come home late from a study session with some classmates at the library and found an enraged Suigetsu in their apartment.

He'd demanded to know who, what, and where the raven had been with and done, when Sasuke had replied he'd been studying for an exam next week the platinum blonde had calmed down and embraced him. Telling him he was sorry, and that he hadn't meant to frighten him. And 3 months passed after the incident and Sasuke had pretty much forgotten about it. It wasn't until he was paired up with a classmate, Haku, that the blonde had another 'episode'.

He'd found out that Sasuke had been paired up with a man, and had completely lost it upon finding out that he'd also been to the partners home. So when Sasuke had arrived at the apartment, he'd been thrown up against the wall.

An enraged Suigetsu had demanded to know what he'd been doing with Haku, and why he hadn't picked up his phone. Sasuke had tried to explain that they'd been paired up for a project but Suigetsu hadn't listened and had beaten and forced himself on him.

After that Sasuke had packed his things and left without a trace, he'd transferred universities and moved from Hiroshima back home to Tokyo, refusing to tell his friends or family why.

And that had been the last of it, until now that is but of course Suigetsu had found him, just when he'd managed to completely forget about him. He'd probably have to go back to therapy again and start taking sleeping pills so he'd be able to sleep through the night. It wasn't a pleasant thought.

Sighing he closed his eyes and pulled the hospital blanket over his body, tired and wanting to sleep.

"Are you sure, because I can stay awhile if you want-"

"Kiba go home, I am fine, and will you stop hovering behind me, it's irritating." The raven growled irritated, the whole way home Kiba had insisted that he go with him and stay over just to make sure he'd be okay, but the raven refused to let him stay over and look after him as if he were a child.

The brunette let out a sigh, but decided not to press the matter; Sasuke was as stubborn as a mule sometimes.

"Well I can stay a while if you want-"

"Kiba! Go home-" The raven cut himself of when he felt a twinge of pain in his ribs, leaning against the wall he held his torso. "Sasuke?! Are you alright?" The dog-lover asked worried, looming over the raven concerned.

"Ye-yeah." He replied in a tired voice. Sighing he rested his head against Kiba's chest, trying not to keel over from the wave of exhaustion and dulled pain he felt, "Can you help me get to my room." He asked, Kiba nodded and bent down slightly, picking the raven up bridal style.

"Gah! Kiba I am not a fucking girl! Put me down!"

"You said to help you to your room and that's exactly what I'm doing!" He stated, "Plus, Itachi told me to make sure you got into bed as soon as you got home, and I don't particularly feel like being deprived of sex, thank you very much."

The raven groaned and slapped a hand to his face, "I do not want to hear anything involving you and my brother's sex life." He growled but Kiba merely gave him a toothy grin as he walked him to his apartment door.

Sasuke was too mortified and sore to notice the apartment door beside his open; he did however notice the murderous aura being directed at them.

Frowning, he looked over Kiba's shoulder and felt his cheeks darken, however the blonde didn't notice as he was too busy glaring death at a confused Kiba.

"Naruto..." He whispered nervously, blazing, bright, blue eyes focused on him and his insides began to feel like mush in that familiar way they always did when he was around the blonde.

His eyes softened upon looking at the raven, "Can we help you?" Kiba asked irritated, and just like that the blue eyes hardened before he directed them at the spiky haired brunette.

"**You** can't." He growled his voice a low rumble that caused Sasuke's heart to quicken nervously.

"Kiba, can you put me down?" Though he asked, it was more of an order rather than a question but the brunette didn't seem to take notice and shook his head.

"No way, you were about to keel over and you're already running a fever." The dog-lover growled, not taking his eyes off the glowering blonde.

The raven glared at the brunette, looking over at Naruto's apartment door when it opened, he felt his gut tighten upon seeing a short haired raven step out, hickeys littered his neck and his appearance looked ruffled.

He schooled his expression easily, and unconsciously tightened his hold on Kiba's shirt, causing the brunette to look down at him.

"Excuse us." Kiba growled, opening Sasuke's apartment door easily and stepping inside, ignoring the blonde's protests.

They stayed in the entrance, Sasuke glaring down at his jeans while Kiba remained silent and looking down at Sasuke concerned, "So that's Naruto?"

The raven sighed but nodded, he should have expected as much, letting his hopes get up just because he'd saved him and visited him at the hospital had been stupid but... he'd just hoped that maybe...

"Fer the love of kami* Sasuke! I know yeh can do better than that!" Said raven let out a growl as he stood up and grabbed the bar he'd knocked off. Genma-sensei was glaring at him and chewing his toothpick like it was gum, but he merely glared back.

He just hadn't been feeling it lately, normally he enjoyed jumping, it's the reason he'd joined track, but ever since he'd gotten home from the hospital 2 weeks ago, he just hadn't felt like doing much of anything.

He placed the bar back and ran a hand through his hair, he'd been going to therapy since the beginning of the week and had had to take sleeping pills just to get through the night, as he'd had to do over a year ago during the first incident with Suigetsu.

Though he wasn't as jumpy around men as he'd been last time, which was a relief seeing as how most of the people he associated himself with were male, "All right, wrap it up!" He glanced over at Genma and resisted the urge to groan when the man motioned for him to come over.

He let his feet drag and shivered when a cold breeze blew against his sweaty skin, "What the hell's going on with yeh Sasuke!?" He glared at the Osaka-ben* and shrugged, the school hadn't been informed about the incident and he'd be damned if they were.

"Yer killin' meh Uchiha! Just cuz we made it to nationals doesn't mean yeh can slack off!" He met the man's eyes and gave him an icy glare.

"Whatever, can I go now?"

The honey-brown haired man's face nearly turned red, "Uchiha-"

"I'll take that as a yes." With that he turned away from the man and headed in the direction of the locker rooms.

"You know pissing him off isn't going to do you any good." He sent a peeved glare at his spiky haired companion, forcing the door to the locker room open.

"I don't particularly care."

Kiba sighed but kept his mouth shut as he opened his locker to pull out his casual clothes, "Sooo..." he asked calmly, glancing at the raven as he pulled off his jersey, "Have you talked to that Naruto guy?"

The pale male froze at the mention of the ramen-loving blonde he'd fallen so desperately in love with. Sending a glare at the brunette, he all but ripped his shirt and shorts off, grabbing his thermal shirt.

"I'll take that as a no." Another hostile glare.

"You know, judging from what Itachi said about him, he was pretty worried, it wouldn't hurt to just let him know you're feeling better." The dog-lover suggested while pulling up his baggy jeans.

Slamming his locker shut, Sasuke turned to face Kiba, a carefully placed mask of calm on his feminine features to hide the obvious frustration and sick feeling he had and knew would show on his face if he weren't careful.

"I... don't want to talk to him." He grit out as calmly as he could before turning away and stomping out of the locker rooms.

"Ah-Sasuke wait!"

* * *

A/N: Yup... so hopefully I'll be able to upload the next part soon, hopefully I won't be to swamped with work to upload, anyways, please review!

koi: Boyfriend

kami: God

Osaka-ben: Someone from Osaka who speaks with a Kansai accent


End file.
